Robot Unicorn Attack Game

If there was a contest for Gayest Best Videogame, Robot Unicorn Attack would win a trip to Sandals Jamaica and bring along its new interns Justin and Christopher.

This game is ridic. Basically you’re a unicorn robot and your job is to run through a purple world of sparkly rainbows and fairies, and smash through giant stars in an explosion of pretty. There are only two buttons to press and it gets faster and faster, and a dolphin cheers you on, and if you miss, you explode in a hot mess of dead robot unicorn head.

Oh also, did I mention the whole thing is set to an Erasure song sung entirely in male falsetto? Yeah, exactly. You’re welcome.

I had one particularly good run and made a crazy high score on a single life: but then my cat started chewing my power cord and I got distracted and my robot unicorn face blew off. Anyway consider this screengrab my version of slapping your cheek with a glove and issuing a challenge for highest score on a single life:

You can play it here. And there’s an iPhone version on there, too, in case you were tired of relating to other humans with eye contact.

Thanks to Bryan and Helder for putting this song into my head for the past four days straight.


5 Responses to Robot Unicorn Attack Game

  1. Laura Wilson says:

    Never one to disregard a cyber glove slap – 11920 in a single life. Boo-yeah! It’s not quite as affective since I don’t know how to do the screen grabby thing, so you kind of just have to take my word for it…

  2. stamp says:

    Hot damn, Laura Wilson. A well-manicured high-five to you!

  3. Issendai says:

    Is it not the most perfect game ever? It’s like everyone’s inner 13-year-old girl developed fairycidal tendencies and a love of unicorn innards.

    I bow before your slap. The best score I ever got was barely 8,000, and that took all my lives. I’ma claim that’s because I’m a pure aesthete who’s too distracted by the sophisticated sound stylings of Erasure. As we pure aesthetes are.

    (Hold ooooon to the niiiiight, there will beeee noooo shaaaame…)

  4. ramon says:

    wow i got 14k in ONE run but i accedently moved the mouse wheel and then it went away

  5. Nicole says:

    Ahahaaa. I got 25,673 in a single life.

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