If there was a contest for Gayest Best Videogame, Robot Unicorn Attack would win a trip to Sandals Jamaica and bring along its new interns Justin and Christopher.
This game is ridic. Basically you’re a unicorn robot and your job is to run through a purple world of sparkly rainbows and fairies, and smash through giant stars in an explosion of pretty. There are only two buttons to press and it gets faster and faster, and a dolphin cheers you on, and if you miss, you explode in a hot mess of dead robot unicorn head.
Oh also, did I mention the whole thing is set to an Erasure song sung entirely in male falsetto? Yeah, exactly. You’re welcome.
I had one particularly good run and made a crazy high score on a single life: but then my cat started chewing my power cord and I got distracted and my robot unicorn face blew off. Anyway consider this screengrab my version of slapping your cheek with a glove and issuing a challenge for highest score on a single life:
You can play it here. And there’s an iPhone version on there, too, in case you were tired of relating to other humans with eye contact.
Thanks to Bryan and Helder for putting this song into my head for the past four days straight.