The other night I went to a sports bar to watch a UFC fight. My friend Helder spent 30% of the evening on his iPhone, as is his custom. At the end of the match, as we were paying, I dropped a toonie (a Canadian $2 coin) on the floor under the table and couldn’t see it in the dark.
I was gonna ask Helder to shine his iPhone down there to help me find it but first I just stuck my head under the table to see if I could solve my problem by myself, because I’m slowly learning that that’s what adults do.
A few seconds into my exploration of independence, Helder mildly inquired as to why I was paddling around in one of the many pools of spilled beer on the carpet at Toby’s. I poked my head back up and explained that I was looking for a dropped toonie, obviously. He immediately whipped out his iPhone and shone it under the table.
Here, maybe this will help.
It’s a new application I downloaded for finding toonies.
It’s called iTunie.
It cost me a dollar-ninety-nine.
(turns off phone)
That’s it for the application then. One-time use.
Amazing. Helder’s getting back into stand-up comedy in 2010 and I think the world can only be made a better place by this decision.