Daily news annoys me. It’s 70% invented; they need so much filler to make their daily allotment. Last night a major Canadian news channel ran a story about 12 small dogs found in unsanitary conditions in the GTA. It was literally a news story that could be summarized as “Sad dogs got dirty. More at 11.” On national news. This is news? I thought about it for a while but then my head exploded and I turned off the television and ran around my apartment intoning insightful headlines like “DOGS: DISHEVELED AND DISAPPOINTED. CANADIAN CANINES COPING WITH CANDIDA. PARKDALE PUPPIES… IN POOP.” …and other stchupidness, over and over, to simulate what I was missing.