Today I had lunch with a pal and we went for a walk in a city park. There was a wading pool full of adorable toddlers, and I kicked off my shoes and waded in ankle-deep. Then I wondered what time it was. I clearly remember thinking, “Maybe I shouldn’t take my phone out while I’m standing in ankle deep water.” But I really wanted to know what time it was. Well, turns out my instincts were correct and as soon as I saw the time, I dropped my phone, as predictably as if I’d done it on purpose. It was 3:05, by the way. That time is notable because now that I’ve drowned my phone, I probably won’t know what time it is for several days to come. Long story short, if you need to talk to me for the next couple days, my phone is relaxing in a jar of rice, and you should probably just email me.