I just reset my Facebook status to: “Nicole is Snap, Krackle, Crepitus.”

And then I thought, hmm, someone might read that and then Googlesearch the term crepitus– I wonder what they’ll find?

Well, the first link is to Wikipedia: Crepitus is a medical term to describe the grating, crackling or popping sounds and sensations experienced under the skin and joints. Bingo. I have busted cartilage in my left knee, which makes strange, clearly audible sounds: sharp, hollow pops, weird crackly champagne noise, the rubbery whine of a stretching balloon, and so on. Crepitus. Same root as “decrepit”, no doubt.

But the second link in the Googlesearch points to another Wikipedia page, for Crepitus, the Roman God of Flatulence. Umm, the Romans had a Fart God? Yet another arrow in the quiver of atheism, as far as I’m concerned. But wait, “It is unlikely that this deity was ever actually worshipped.” Oh, okay. “…The god appears, however, in a number of important works of French literature.”

Buried in that Wiki page, please to note the following nonsense, written in the persona of the Fart God: “the pontiff of Egypt, abstinent from beans, trembled at my voice and paled at my odour.” Trust the French to be literary about the God of Magical Mist.

Wait, am I still writing about this? EXCUSE ME.

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