What Google thinks it means, Volume One

October 23, 2008

I came up with a new thing for on here! A way to combine my love for the internet with the spirit of inquiry. I’m gonna do Google Image searches for things, and then post the top thing for each thing on my blog. Because the thing is: if Google thinks a thing should be represented by a thing, then that’s what the thing is.

For example:

Top image result for “funny” comes from an Irish website called LOLZ.IR. It’s a photo of two cocks playing football. While crossing a road. You guys, that is a lot of funny all densely concentrated up in there.

FUNNY

FUNNY

PARIS
I am happy to report that the top Google Image result for “Paris” is the city, not the coy Hollywood douchette. (She takes spot #5 though.)

PARIS

PARIS

ME
And (thankfully) most of the Google Image results for my name are actual photos of me. But not this pretty lil gem, who snagged the #6 spot. NEVER FORGET, guys. NEVER FORGET:

(ANNA) NICOLE STAMP

(ANNA) NICOLE STAMP

“ME”, AS IN “YOU”.
The previous line of inquest led me to ponder what is perhaps the most existential 2.0 question of all: what jpeg would Google Image offer up to represent “ME”, like the actual word “ME”…?

Is your mind totally blown yet?

Seriously! Which “ME”, of all the many people in the world, would be the most powerful, the most iconic, the most universally represented “ME”? The answer, my friend, may surprise you. It certainly surprised “me”.

I present to you the quintessential “ME”, according to Google Images: A Scandinavian businessman awkwardly sitting in the lap of a bronze bear, while her displaced cub looks on with envy. Obviously.

ME.

ME.


Rémi Gaillard is a total badass.

July 27, 2008

Awesome 5-minute video of a soccer striker making ridiculous goals all over Paris, set to AC/DC. When he pulls his jersey over his own head and runs around like an airplane, chased by infuriated security guards? That’s comedy. Via Kottke.

On an unrelated note, I’m typing this with the TV on in the background, and it keeps flashing strobe lights at my face. Is it just me, or do strobe effects make everyone feel like they’re being cudgeled in the eyes with a rubber bat 80 times a minute? And oh look, another freakish lightning storm has begun. Strobing from nature, too, thanks, universe! I’ll just be over here hiding under a blanket.


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