I guess I’m screwed

May 21, 2010

Funny stuff; more here; thanks to La Belle Peneycad for sending.


Really?

May 19, 2010

I’ve been saving cartons for the past few months- I have a craft idea in mind. Today I rinsed out this beauty and then took a closer look at it.

Before we go any further, look at that flower arrangement in the background. Pretty, right? I invented that to class-up the vacant downstairs apartment in the house I live in; we’re looking for some new tenants and I’m hoping to find someone elegantly refined enough to appreciate my taste in floral arrangements. Or someone who doesn’t fart too loud, either would be fine.

Ok, back to the carton. Let’s look a little closer, shall we?

Really? Is that what it tastes like?
Homo?
Seriously?

I think all copywriters must secretly be 11 year old boys.


Earwax Suction

May 18, 2010

THIS IS THE MOST DISGUSTING / SATISFYING THING I’VE EVER SEEN.
Man, I loved watching it. The music is so inspirational! And when he gets that tricky one at the end, doesn’t your heart just soar? This video made me so horribly delighted that I had to yell AAAAUUUGGGGHHH the whole time I watched. I want this done so bad.

Via MeFi.


MMA? Nah. Much More Betterer Amazing Fightings!

April 30, 2010

I never thought I’d say this, but I enjoy watching fights (UFC and WWF) at sports bars. I think I would enjoy that activity even more, though, if I could sit back with a platter of nachos in the middle of a mob of meatheads and watch even better combat sports, like these:

X-ARM!
Tie two fighters’ left arms together and make them arm wrestle… while punching each other in the face with their other arms!
Would you like to see the face I made while I watched this for the first time? Helder was kind enough to grab a screencap of the chat window while I played the link:

This face, if it were translated into words, might approximate something like HOLY CRAP THIS IS THE DUMBEST AND BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN EVARRRRR

Ok, I won’t keep you in suspense much longer.
Here it is, is the very best fighting you’ve ever seen.

You know what else would be cool? Strapping two fighters chest-to-chest with duct tape and letting them headbutt each other until one passes out! I’m gonna invent that!

Here is the second best kind of fighting. I call it the Lighting Bolt. You’ll soon see why.

And here are some more idiotic fighting ideas.
One million thank yous to Helder for these tips.


Dock Ellis & the LSD No-hitter

April 21, 2010

Animation accompanying pitcher Dock Ellis‘ hilarious account of the time he pitched a no-hitter while high as a kite on LSD and bennies. The 1970s were a different time.

Thanks to a reader named L for the tip.

If you’re new to this bloog, welcome! Check out the best posts here.


A question about learning.

March 22, 2010

When you were a kid, what was that thing that took you extra-long to learn? For me, it was telling time. For some of my friends, it was reading. I am very curious to know about that thing. Why didn’t you understand it? What was it that you were doing wrong? What was the one simple “key” that an adult could have given you to unlock the mystery?

Until I was 10, I had no idea how a watch represented time. I saw numbers and understood that they referred to the time of day. I did not understand why there were two different hands pointing to those numbers. If someone had said to me, “The little hand points at the hour number. The long hand is not pointing at any numbers- it’s marking off fractions!”, then I would have understood. Although I was also confused about the fact that there were so many ways to say the time (15 minutes = quarter past, etc). I guess I needed to start with 60=hour, 30=half, 15=quarter… I don’t remember anyone ever explaining that to me. I do remember sitting there in a fog and staring at the two hands and mentally adding together or multiplying the numbers each hand pointed to, trying in vain to get numbers as big as 15, 30, 45. So confusing. I was always a pretty good student, but while my peers learned to tell time in first grade, I was clueless until about fifth grade. I like to think this is the reason I’m usually late.

A friend who’s been diagnosed as dyslexic told me that she learned to read by memorizing the overall shapes of words. So to her, the word yellow was coded basically by its silhouette, as “dangly-normal-tall-tall-normal”. She didn’t really look at the individual letters, but rather at their relative heights. Obviously this is not helpful when you’re later presented with Yellow or YELLOW. She memorized the overall shape-variations of a zillion words instead of learning to look at words as being made of individual letters, inefficient system that leaves you lost when you encounter a new word, which will of course snowball into anxiety for a child who’s learning to read so much slower than her peers.

Another friend said she thought that the important parts of letters were the negative space inside of them, not the line itself. So to her, a capital B was two stacked semi-circles, not a straight line and two curved lines. When she wrote, she would carefully draw the negative space instead of the line, which means her printing didn’t translate naturally into handwriting. This also made word recognition tough for her when she encountered new fonts and handwriting.

I think these little learning quirks are really interesting. I bet they’d be worthwhile considerations for teachers, too- I always think it’s important to learn not only that I’m doing something wrong, but why it made sense to think that wrong thing, and how the wrong-yet-intuitive answer relates to the real answer. Do you remember the things you took forever to understand? What was the key that led to your AHA! moment?


Is this what the kids are doing these days?

February 25, 2010

I get a friend request on Facebook from “Peter Banks”, a guy I’ve never met. We do have one mutual friend, but to be honest I don’t know that guy very well either; he’s a friend’s brother and I’ve only met him once. A name like Peter Banks is so common it’s unGoogle-able, so no help there. Peter’s profile is pretty bare. There is one photo of a twenty-something male model- which could be an actual photo of Peter, I guess, since our one mutual friend does a little modelling too. And his profile says he’s “in a relationship”, so maybe he’s not just trying to flirt with random girls, which would have been my first guess.

ME: Hey Peter, thanks for the friend request. Have we met in real life?

PETER: Hey Nicole, never had the pleasure of meeting you in real life. I signed up for FB mainly for netwoking, but making a few friends along the way would be an added bonus. If you only accept people you know then no worries & sorry to trouble you.
Keep well.

I do not at all understand. How is it networking (excuse me, “netwoking”) to randomly friend people with no preamble? That’s not networking, that’s just… weird. It’s like coming to a party and just staring at someone for an hour instead of saying hi. What, am I going to friend a complete stranger and then somehow we’re in some sort of viable network together, sharing, what, tips? Is it like, if you stare at another person at a party long enough they might give you a job reference or something? I’m no expert but I do not think that’s how this works. Is it? Why am I asking this? *head explodes*

So I just hit “Accept friend request” and we’ll see what happens. Oh no wait, I did not do that.


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