And I wrote a rap about it.

September 8, 2010

Something I can do for hours (um, obviously I’m speaking totally hypothetically here, you guys,) is listen to Rap Master Maurice do his thing. Rap Master Maurice is (one of) the alter ego(s) of artist Derek Erdman, who writes and sells “Vigilante rap phone calls”. It works is like so: You Paypal him $12  and he writes you a personalized revenge rap, plus sends you an .mp3 of him rapping it to the unsuspecting but totally deserving nitwit of your choice.

Ferinstance, let’s say you have a group project, but there’s that one dude not pulling his weight (there’s ALWAYS that one dude. If you think there isn’t, that one dude is YOU. Jerk.)

Or, maybe you’re upset about how your property management company does things.

Or, imagine you asked your friend what to eat, and he said: “How about some Beach Cliff sardines?” Clearly, that has revenge rap written all over it.

Also, he does friendly raps, but that will set you back $19. Fair enough.

I love this guy. 8 billion other raps on his site here. He’s away till September 15th, but I’m already making a list of those who have wronged me, and they’re gonna be so, so sorry.


PEACE.


Moff’s Law

January 9, 2010

On how critical thinking about art and pop culture is often stifled by idiots hollering “Caintchoo jus’ stop all this thinkin’ and jus’ ENJOY it??!!” (OMG U GUYZ REMEMBR WHEN DAT HAPPIND ON MAH BLOOG HEER? DAT SUKED SO HARD!!1!!!)

Well, here comes an excellent rant by an io9 contributor named Mott, responding to some turd who tried to shut down a pretty interesting critical conversation about Avatar. The rant is reproduced under the jump here. It’s the best. I’m excited that this has been written.

Via Racialicious.

Read the rest of this entry »


Design me a logo? With pie charts?

November 26, 2009

Funny fake exchange between a graphic designer and a lame entrepreneur.

Dear Simon,
Disregarding the fact that you have still not paid me for work I completed earlier this year despite several assertions that you would do so, I would be delighted to spend my free time creating logos and pie charts for you based on further vague promises of future possible payment. Please find attached pie chart as requested and let me know of any changes required.
Regards, David.

Whole thing here (single page, language NSFW)


Toronto Star needs less, or more, editors.

November 9, 2009

The Toronto Star recently announced its plans to outsource a number of its editing jobs to cut costs. One irritated Toronto Star editor retaliated by marking up the very press release that announced the writing on the wall about his/her own job, and then sending it to Torontoist. This takes passive-aggression to a whole new level.

2009starmemo

click the letter to read it full-size, then click again to zoom in.


Bacon is good for me!

September 4, 2009

“I had a very very calm day till this. A little bump in the road comes and she be’s sarcastic!”
Thanks to Kelly for the tip.


A party, you say?

February 20, 2009

This is awesome.

Last week when I checked my mailbox, I found that my new neighbour had left me a note stating that he was having a party and to let him know if the noise was too loud. The problem I have with the note is not that he was having a party and didn’t invite me, it was that he selected a vibrant background of balloons, effectively stating that his party was going to be vibrant and possibly have balloons and that I couldn’t come.

Read the whole thing here. It’s so worthwhile, I made incoherent noises of joy while I read it.
Via MetaFilter.


My Art Director is Four Years Old.

February 19, 2009

“That’s not what I want. That’s a Brachiosaurus. I want a T Rex.”

This dude draws whatever his small daughter tells him to draw, and she almost always hates it.


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