The Secret Lives of Dresses

May 31, 2010

Soon she stopped crying and then she was asleep. I don’t like being slept in. It makes creases. When she had been asleep for a while, the man came back in with a nightgown, and took me off her. He was pretty gentle. I’d heard stories of men ripping dresses, but he didn’t. He was upset that she wasn’t wearing anything under me, not even a slip, but he just sighed and went off for a minute. He came back with a bra and panties, though they didn’t match. I guess he hadn’t noticed that hers always matched, or maybe he didn’t think it was important. Then he put a coat around her and carried her out.

I didn’t get hung up until the next day. It was odd to spend so much time off a body but not hung up. She always hung me up right away.

Great short fiction by Erin McKean, written from the perspective of vintage dresses, online at A Dress A Day. I’m really enjoying these. This one- the red satin bombshell- is particularly good.


Karate Kid ruined my happiness.

May 31, 2010

Fig. 1: Artist's impression of my life.

“You know that TV show where Gordon Ramsay tours various failing restaurants and swears at the owners until everything is fine again? Every episode is a great example. They all involve some haggard restaurant owner, a half a million dollars in debt, looking exhausted into the camera and saying, “How can we be losing money? I work 90 hours a week!”

The world demands more. So, so much more. How have we gotten to adulthood and failed to realize this? Why would our expectations of the world be so off? I blame the montages. Five breezy minutes, from sucking at karate to being great at karate, from morbid obesity to trim, from geeky girl to prom queen, from terrible garage band to awesome rock band.”

OMG, this is my life. Read it and weep at Cracked.
Thanks to Nicolas for the tip.


Janelle Monáe

May 27, 2010

Hopefully I can be her when I grow up.

UPDATE:
I did manage to become her for Hallowe’en.


What a good question.

May 26, 2010

My lovely friend Lauren, who is utterly perfume-obsessed, asked her FB friends what their favourite smells are. I discovered I was delighted to answer:

clean concrete stairwells (particularly the ones on the ryerson campus),
belgian waffles,
summer nights in the city,
chocolate cigarillos,
vinyl erasers from the 1980s (and the scented vivienne westwood jelly shoes of today that mimic them),
l’oreal lipstick,
the baked-on sunshine smell of my dad’s shirt after mowing the lawn,
snow,
unsmoked cigarettes (so raisiny!),
noxzema,
ivory soap,
fresh-ground coffee beans,
peaches,
axe body spray “dark temptations” chocolate scent (and only that scent of all axe’s many offerings, thank you),
black tea,
coca cola,
garlic in a frying pan,
roses,
crabapple blossoms,
that crisp snowy smell from a new feather duvet,
caramel,
smoked meat,
bread in the oven,
bacon,
baby lotion,
day-old boy neck,
my cats’ tummies.


Terry Border’s Funny Photos

May 22, 2010

Terry Border takes funny photos of little things.

First Impressions

This Chap Sticks the Landing

Here’s my favourite pair:

Crushed Rosemary

Why is Rosemary crushed?
Well, unfortunately, in her particular lovestory….

Basil Leaves.


Lower Bay Station

May 21, 2010

See Lower Bay Station, the creepy hidden TTC stop, this weekend! You’ve seen it in movies; now see it through a moving window!

“Switch replacement repairs are expected to take place for three days during the 2010 Victoria Day long weekend (May 22 – 24) between Bay and St. George stations. As a result, Bay station will be closed, and trains will bypass to Museum station via the interlining tracks. As a result, riders will be able to see Lower Bay Station through the train windows as they ride between Bloor-Yonge and Museum stations. The last time subway trains were diverted to Museum station for structural repairs in the tunnel was in 2007.”

Thanks to Hig for the tip.


Google Pac Man!

May 21, 2010

Inky, Blinky, Pinky, and Clyde.

You guys, go to Google today! It’s the anniversary of Pac-Man and the Google homepage is a playable game OMG!

UPDATE:

OMG, they made it permanent OMG!


Hide and Gobama

May 21, 2010

Security in the White House ain't as rigorous as it once was.

Sorry no credit for this adorable photo, I forget where I found it. Jacket pocket, maybe? They’re always in the last place you look.


I guess I’m screwed

May 21, 2010

Funny stuff; more here; thanks to La Belle Peneycad for sending.


Bacon Fruit Cups

May 20, 2010

OMG OMG OMG

Wait, you made little cups out of bacon and then filled them with basil, aioli, avocado, mango chunks, and caramelized onion confit? And then you dusted them with homemade bacon powder? Where do I line up to join your church?

I do not really like making high-prep recipes, but srsly? Can you imagine?
I think I’d fill these with roasted pineapple or mango chunks + gooey charred mini marshmallows on baby lettuce leaves and call it a day.

Via Instructables.

Oh and what’s that? You want to see my recipe for Candied Bacon again? Okay here.


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 64 other followers