Or rather, can you write like Sarah Palin’s ghostwriter?
Here are some sample sentences from her new book:
“As the soles of my shoes hit the soft ground, I pushed past the tall cottonwood trees in a euphoric cadence, and meandered through willow branches that the moose munched on.”
or,
“I breathed in an autumn bouquet that combined everything small-town America with rugged splashes of the Last Frontier.”
Slate characterizes her style as having “multiple references to local flora and fauna, heavy use of PSAT vocabulary, slightly defensive tone, and difficult-to-parse meaning.” They even created a pretty funny index for the book. Sample entries:
Christoph Neimann is a genius art-essayist for the NYTimes. He’s done awesome pictorials about sleeping and his young sons’ adorable obsession with the NY subway system (go check those out, they’re great- so elegant and clever). He even tiled his his bathroom like a pixellated subway map because his kids are so ape for it.
Here’s gymnast Oli Lemieux KICKING ASS in rehearsals for Cirque du Soleil’s show Dralion. Basically this guy can fly, and I’m so jealous I can barely handle it. But also, when he drops off the highest level of the wall, my hands sweat with terror. I am not cut out for free-fall. Lucky for us, Oli is, and you should watch him, it’s a beautiful thing.
Fun fact: I worked for Dralion when they were in Toronto years ago. That’s where I learned to juggle. Oh no, I wasn’t in the show, ha ha ha. I was the assistant shift-leader of the popcorn stand. I got to wear a hairnet and everything! In addition to popcorn, overpriced pop, and cotton candy, we also sold juggling balls, so I had lots of time to practice. Well, after I’d shined up the napkin dispensers and the sweeping was done for the day.
One evening a very handsome mid 40s man with a thick shock of dark hair, sporting huge, black-rimmed nerd glasses (this was long before hipsters existed and nerd glasses became cool), came to my concession station and ordered snacks for his stunning blonde wife and their daughter. They really had presence, this family. After I served them and they walked away, someone told me why: I’d just handed a tray of Cokes to Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger.
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Pageslap is Nicole Stamp's blog, and an aggregate of awesome stuff from all over the internet. It's like being slapped in the head with awesome webpages. Pretty catchy, right?
I update almost every day. Except when I'm reeally busy, or doing some hardcore napping.
If you find something you think I should post on here, please feel free to send it to me!
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