Doctor, I don’t think he’s hungry.

July 26, 2008

It must be tough to work under life-or-death time constraints, hobbled by a language barrier. Add to that a measure of conceptual naïveté, and you’ve got a puzzling night in the emergency room. Here is an anglophone doctor’s account of using a professional medical translation service to inform an adult Spanish-speaking patient that he would require an appendectomy:

I hate using interpreters – especially the phone ones. It’s a cumbersome process of handing a phone back and forth…. [but nonetheless], I am fairly detailed and complex in the instructions and explanations I give patients, and I do not stint the non-english-speakers.

So for this patient, I explained what appendicitis was, that he would need surgery, described the surgery and recovery, and briefly outlined the potential complications…. All with the interpreter flawlessly going back and forth in the background. Finally, the translator broke the “fourth wall” and said to me, “Doctor, I am sorry to say that I do not think your patient understands what I am telling him. I explained that he would need surgery, and his response was, ‘I’ll eat anything you give me.’ So I tried to explain what an operation is, several times, and all he has to say is that he isn’t hungry but if you tell him he has to eat, he will eat anything you say. I am very sorry, but I really don’t think he understands.”

Huh. Full post is at All Bleeding Stops.


Ninja mediocrity

July 26, 2008

What we have here is a ninja who has poor ninja skillz.

From FailBlog.


Man hit by car in diner.

July 24, 2008

This dude is such an unflappable badass.

The link goes to a mostly-silent 20 second video on the BBC News site. Check out the right-hand side of the image. Here we have a trucker-style Southern dude, just minding his own business, and then a car smashes right into the restaurant, WHAM. My favourite part is that afterwards he puts his hat back on like it ain’t no thing.

Thanks to Elliott for the tip.


Let them eat microwaved mug-cake.

July 24, 2008

UPDATE: I made this! And it was good!.

Found a five-minute cake recipe that you make in a coffee mug in the microwave. Wow.

This looks like such a mistake.

This looks like such a mistake.


in a microwaveable mug,

MIX:
4 Tablespoons cake flour
4 Tablespoons sugar
2 Tablespoons cocoa

UPDATE: I recommend 3tbs flour and 3tbs cocoa. More chocolateyer.

ADD:
1 Egg
3 Tablespoons milk
3 Tablespoons oil

UPDATE: I recommend melted salted butter instead of oil.

Mix well & nuke for 3 minutes.

This, on the other hand, looks like chocolatey genius.

This, on the other hand, looks like chocolatey genius.


Pixar, oh Pixar.

July 22, 2008
Illustration from Lots of Bots, a Pixar storybook by Ben Butcher.

Illustration from "Lots of Bots", a Pixar storybook by Ben Butcher.

Okay, this is an AWESOME story.

A year ago, a woman named Courtney discovered she couldn’t watch the preview trailer for Wall-E without bursting into tears every time Wall-E said his name. Half-embarassed, half-amused, she made a little video of herself watching raptly and crying on-cue, which started to circulate on YouTube. People from Pixar eventually saw it and some sent her little emails thanking her for sharing her connection with the film. They even sent her some Wall-E swag for Xmas. Nice, right?

It gets better.

Out of the blue, Pixar invited her to the Wall-E wrap party, flying her across the country and putting her up in a great hotel. The wrap party was attended by a thousand of the Pixar employees who worked on Wall-E for four long years, and before the screening, writer/director Andrew Stanton gave a little speech thanking them all for their commitment and talent:

“Six months ago, when the first trailer for Wall-E came out, we were only halfway done with the film, and we weren’t exactly sure how we were going to get it done. We were exhausted.
And then, one day, a movie showed up on YouTube, showing a girl watching the trailer for Wall-E. And every time she watched it, she would cry on cue. When we saw that, we knew we were on the right track.”
Everybody in the theater laughed at this knowingly.
“Well,” Andrew Stanton said. “We invited Courtney here tonight.”
A gasp went through the theater… Stanton asked her to stand up, and all one-thousand sets of eyes in the theater turned to find her, and thunderous applause broke out.

Best of all, Pixar never tried to use this story to promote Wall-E at all; they just did it as a treat to their employees and a thank you to Courtney- a way to allow people who had connected only indirectly to finally meet in person.

Here’s the Wall-E trailer, and the video of Courtney watching it and crying. It’s pretty fun to watch- I just checked it out at work and cried all over myself, then some dude from the mailroom wandered by and gave me a weird look as I sat there with a big doofy grin wiping my nose on my arm. And Courtney’s boyfriend wrote about the experience on Metafilter.

Ahhh.


Um, so how does the dominant social paradigm affect your choice of grout?

July 22, 2008

Great article about the pitfalls of elite education, written by a dude who graduated from Yale and found himself unable to make smalltalk with a plumber:

The first disadvantage of an elite education… is that it makes you incapable of talking to people who aren’t like you. Elite schools pride themselves on their diversity, but that diversity is almost entirely a matter of ethnicity and race. With respect to class, these schools are largely homogeneous… the heartwarming spectacle of the children of white businesspeople and professionals studying and playing alongside the children of black, Asian, and Latino businesspeople and professionals. At the same time, because these schools tend to cultivate liberal attitudes, they leave their students in the paradoxical position of wanting to advocate on behalf of the working class while being unable to hold a simple conversation with anyone in it.

Via Kottke.


Paradise, unpaved. No more parking lot!

July 22, 2008

A Toronto woman cut through swathes of bureaucracy to convince City Hall to let her dig up her driveway and turn it into a pretty little environmentally-friendly garden.

Detail of   \"Paradise, Unpaved\" by Franke James.

Rainwater that falls on regular driveways goes whooshing straight into roadside sewer grates, carrying with it a load of road salt, pesticide residue, antifreeze, motor oil, & poo from my neighbour’s dog. Stormwater doesn’t get treated, so all that junk ends up in the lake. On the other hand, water falling on soil can soak in to nourish plants and quench the lake of fire that signifies the coming apocalypse replenish aquifers.

Franke James’ charming and inspiring visual essay is here.
Found this via the faraway Kottke.


barackobama@gmail.com

July 21, 2008

Back in 2004, a young American man was watching some political stuff on TV while he tried to open a gmail account. But his usual usernames were already taken, so he decided, as a joke, to choose the name of the dude who was talking on TV at that moment. And so barackobama@gmail.com was born.

“I just thought it would be kind of funny to create an e-mail address based on a random senator whose name no one could spell.”

He now receives about 60 emails a day intended for The Chosen One, but he finds that overwhelming so he diverts them to his spam folder.

Article in The New Yorker, thanks to Hill for the tip.


10 tips for doing cartoon voices

July 21, 2008
//kennethjunior.blogspot.com/">scott hepburn</a>.

Cartoon me; Illustration by Scott Hepburn.

Today I took a voiceover workshop. I’ve done a bit of voice work before, but recently, I recorded scenes opposite two really experienced animation performers, and observed this thing they both had, which I’ve chosen to call “technique”. I thought I’d try riding that-there bus myownself.

So, in no particular order, here are some of the things I’ve learned about voice work- some from the workshop today and others just from using my looking.

1. If you observe yourself, you’ll fix most of your problems yourself.
I always say this to anyone who will listen (seriously, like on busses and stuff, it confuses people). But it bears saying again: it’s really useful to record yourself. I put myself on tape at home to prep most on-camera auditions, and I’m gonna start putting myself on cassette for voice auditions, too. Common sense and observation are highly underrated teachers. This also applies to many types of dating faux pas, and also to unzipped jeans.

2. I verb, you verb, it verbs, we verb.
That thing we learned in theatre school, about verbing everything? I never do that. Too bad, because today I learned that it really helps. This afternoon I was rehearsing my scene in front of the mirror in a warm washroom that someone had just made warmer (such is my dedication to my craft), coffee on the floor outside so it wouldn’t get poo-taminated, and I figured out a couple good line reads that I wanted to keep.

So I tried to notate what I’d done. On Line One, I used a cryptic series of wiggly lines and carefully-drawn emoticons; and on Line Two, I used a single, active and meaningful verb: “reassure”. When I got in the booth a scant three minutes later, the wiggly lines meant absolutely nothing, they might as well have been in Klingon (no, I do not speak Klingon, what you must think of me). So Line One was pretty much a lost cause. But Line Two? Let me reassure you that Line Two was exceptionally reassuring, and sounded just like it was supposed to, ie, reassuring. Moral of the story: Use verbs. Choose a nice, uncomplicated, active verb for each mini-beat, and write it in the left margin so you scan it naturally as you read the sides.

3. Gesticulate like a madwoman.
I’m talking, like, arms up, over your head. Wave those suckers. This is really hard to do, because all voice work is recorded in a glass-walled booth- and on the other side of the glass wall sits a sound engineer. Invariably, he is a cool, salt-of-the-earth hockey guy, and you just know he would NEVER humiliate himself like you’re about to do. But he also doesn’t get to play a talking cheese wheel in a cartoon that takes place in a refrigerator, so who’s laughing now? He is. Arms up.

4. Bring room-temperature water.
Because cold water freezes your voice, and the astringency of tea or coffee makes your mouth sound pasty. I like to bring a lollypop, too- I’m very neurotic about spit-smacks and mouth-noise (because I believe they make you sound like Heath Ledger). And so sometimes you need to swish water to kind of wash away the pasty spit; and sometimes you need something tangy to encourage your poor nervous salivary glands to make more spit. It’s a delicate balance, but do you wanna be famous or not?

Okay, so you get the script. You pick your verbs. Your next burning question:

5. What happens in a session?

First of all, every line in the script is numbered. The director will break the script into little beats- generally trying to find tidy little self-contained chunks of the story. You’ll record all your lines within each chunk as a “pass”. The director will say, “This first pass we’ll do lines 1-6″– and out of that pass, you might have lines 1, 4, and 6 (with other characters owning lines 2, 3, and 5). Most likely the other actors won’t be there, so nobody reads with you. It’s lonely; be strong.

It's not like this.

Basically, you have to quickly scan the line before yours so you know what your character is responding to- you can even whisper it aloud to help yourself out. Then you take a little pause before cleanly delivering your line. Pause, quickly read ahead in the script, then deliver your next line. If you mess up, just take a quick pause and re-start the line. They can & will edit out your mistakes, it’s no big deal. So don’t even bother apologizing, because nobody cares and it just makes more edit work for them anyway.

And now some basic microphone technique tips, or MicTekTipz, as we* like to say in the biz.
* NOTE: by “we”, I mean “douchebags”.

6. Face the mic at all times.
Don’t turn your head to the side, even if you ‘re speaking to a different character.

7. Soften the harsh sounds.
Lean slightly back or dip your chin slightly on plosive consonants like Puh and Buh, so your air doesn’t make a popping sound on the mic. Duh. (You see what I did there?) Also, if you’re gonna get loud (yelling, squealing, etc), lean or step back in proportion to the loudness so you don’t overload the mic.

8. Avoid “dirty audio”
Dirty audio is any noise that interferes with, or overlaps, a scripted line: this means shuffly noise from your script pages or clothing, noisy gestures like clapping or slapping your thighs, and overlapping other actors’ lines if they’re in the booth with you. Don’t worry about pacing at all- deliver every line between a couple seconds of neutral silence. The secret to comedTIMING- but the secret to audio recording is

pausing.

9. Project, and keep all sounds on-voice.
Even if you’re delivering a quiet line, always keep a solid stream of sound & energy moving forward out of your face. If laughing, it’s probably better to do it with a fully verbal noise rather than a wheeze, for instance. If you need to whisper, do a “voicey” whisper.

10. Don’t tinkle in the booth.
Don’t wear tinkly clothing- I always take off my earrings so they don’t hit the headphones. You might not wanna wear your chainmail vest.

11. Bonus tip: Look at your shoes.
Try to wear shoes that your character might wear. If you’re reading for a 5-year-old, don’t wear heels- they change your alignment and make it harder for you to act young. Likewise, auditioning to play a 50s housewife while wearing Chuck Taylors is just trashy, fellas. The right shoes- or at least the right height of shoes- will instantly make you feel more like the character.

I learned a lot of other cool stuff, but I don’t wanna give away all the teacher’s secrets, because she deserves to be paid for her expertise, yo. She’s a solid teacher, gave thoughtful & specific feedback to each person, and gives easy-to-understand, very practical notes. I noticed that she was especially good at helping people create character voices on the cute-and-energetic end of the spectrum, although that’s by no means all she does. She also had great tips for stuff like getting into character quickly, what kinds of questions to ask in auditions, how to create young characters, and how to develop a roster of characters. All in all, I’d say the class was a solid investment. And voice work pays really well, so you’ll be able to afford a lot of weiner cakes.

How is this relevant, you ask?  I'm not going to tell you.

How is this relevant, you ask? I'm not going to tell you.


You’re tatoos are laim.

July 20, 2008

A nice little collection of poorly-considered tattoos over on the L magazine. The perfect foil to those 1990s hipster Chinese tattoos that probably translate as “I cannot read my tattoo”.

From someone in Beijing: “Mine simply says FRUNK. The letters are so beautiful and flow so smoothly into each other. The word actually means old soul with young spirit in English. How cool is that? :-)”

God made me frunky.

God made me frunky.


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