Real estate is better when it’s gooey.

Another “good try, but you fail” site: It’s lovely! I’ll take it! showcases the photos people post on real estate sites to try to sell their houses.

“Oh that’s ok, they don’t mind if you leave your shoes on, let’s just head on through. Now remember faux-finishes? This was kind of a “paint-draping” effect. It was pioneered in Chernobyl, and uh, it actually takes quite a while to achieve this look but the previous owners were here for a long, long time.”

HP Lovecraft had indigestion in here

“This one is kind of nice, they tidied up and used a wide-angle lens, natural light, fresh fruit, and, hey Brenda, do you hear… loud breathing? Almost like a sort of “panting” noise?”

Clifford?