Cavemen ate it raw.

Some people like to eat raw meat. I’m one of them. And some people like to eat raw, rotten meat, after keeping in a jar for weeks until it’s slimy. They call it high-meat, and one webforum admin-slash-shaman advises, “I would strongly recommend that people experiment with a wide variety of “high-meats” before they find the one that is least appalling re taste.” Least appalling. Aim high, fellas.

The video below shows a raw meat family who participated in one of those wife-swapping reality shows. The actual wife, when interviewed, had said, “My alarm goes off at 2AM so that I can get Mike and the kids up to eat a cup of kefir. If we don’t eat every 5 hours each of their bodies will go into an anorexic state and start eating itself… it’s important for our health.”

The new wife isn’t into the raw-food delicate-timing thing; her dinner of champions is burgers and fries. The whole family gets stomach aches; then the dad totally loses his mind. When he collapses in tears, look in the toilet and imagine the cameraman pinching his nose yet going the distance to capture the melodrama. Smellodrama. That’s dedication.